Parenthood is not for the faint of heart. There’s tears, suspense, blood, vomit, and tons of poop.
In this culture where moms now have the option to work outside the home, there’s a choice that every mom or even dad has to make. For some moms or dads they have no choice but to work. For me it was either work full time to make the daycare worth it or stay home.
I will be honest. I never would have guessed I’d be a stay at home mom, full time home maker. Well, there was this side to me when I was younger that wanted to marry a famous rock musician and make babies. During our ladies Bible study one night, a friend of mine joked about how I would be on tour buses changing diapers all of the time. Anyways, the choice to be the primary care taker of my son was not one made lightly.
After almost 5.5 years of college and a master’s degree later, I had such an aversion to “waste” my education by doing “nothing” at home. Yes, I know that’s a very inaccurate view on having the blessed opportunity to stay home with my baby.
Let me give it to you straight. During my first job post grad school, my little boy was born. I loved my job teaching physical education. I thought I would be doing it for a while. It was quite the strategic quest mapping out the babysitting calendar while I worked the last eight weeks of the school year postpartum. I truly felt that this was God’s calling in my life primarily because I love working with children and enjoyed being with my students. Well, God had other plans.
God hit me hard with this calling to stay home. This was an uphill battle during the majority of the end of the school year. I love my son, but I wanted to “do more” than just stay home. My mantra through college was to make a difference in children’s’ lives. I had this notion stuck in my head that I couldn’t do that unless I was working a big girl job full time. Gosh was I ever wrong.
After months of prayer and counsel from strong women of faith in my life, obediently I heeded God’s call. Let’s be honest, we know what God is capable of doing when we do not obey His will and I didn’t want to end up like Jonah sitting in the belly of a whale ;).
I’d love to say that since that moment of accepting God’s call that my life has been nothing but rainbows and butterflies. The first month of full time motherhood was one that made me want to pull my hair out and punch the puff out of all of our pillows. There’s so much to learn when it comes to caring for a baby let alone making a home. There’s this frustration of spending an entire day tidying up and then with one small occurrence, the room can be cluttered all over again as if it had never been touched.
As mentioned earlier in the previous paragraph, I have always had this mantra to make a difference. Being a mommy I have the biggest influence on my little boy’s life. The biggest difference I can ever make is by setting an example of Christ for him, giving him resources for a healthy and Christ like life, and preparing his heart for the day the Jesus knocks on his door.
This isn’t going to be easy, but don’t get me wrong, I love being home with my boy. The way his little eyes light up in the morning and his arms hold onto me tight every time I hold him makes my heart melt. He has even started giving me “kisses”. He grabs my hair and brings his whole mouth to my face and sucks my cheek. I’ve decided that right now I can’t imagine leaving him all day most days of the week. I do my best to show my husband the gratitude for providing for our family. He has to leave our son during the day so I do not have to and I am so eternally blessed for that. I have accepted God’s call, the calling to be a stay home mommy.